The Quickest Way to Wellth: Choosing You, Over and Over Again
The Deadline That Taught Me (Again)
For the last week or so, I did it again…
Neglected taking care of myself for the sake of preparing for the launch of this blog and business by the deadline I set.
The closer I got to the date, the further away it felt. Stuff wasn’t flowing the same as it was the last few weeks when I’d been working to get everything set up. And I was growing so frustrated and panicked to just get it done—get it live—that I ended up going past the deadline by another week.
No Other Gods Before…
Know why?
Because the clear guidance I needed for my creativity to flow was blocked by those feelings of unrest—caused by my lack of self-care.
And some of y’all might read this and let it roll off of you, especially if you’re anything like I’ve been for the longest (and apparently still am, I’m learning), thinking, That can’t possibly have this much of an effect on getting things done. I don’t have time for this. I’ve got stuff to do.
LOL.
But how convenient is it that as long as I was prioritizing self-care—honoring my feelings, exploring my thoughts, tending to my needs, and taking care of my mind and body in the ways it told me it needed (not what everybody else says self-care is)—that everything was flowing.
Sliding Back to Burnout
I could breeze through my writing. Clearly communicate my point. My days flowed smoothly and effortlessly. My health was automatically in order. I felt good, even in the stages of building, as if it were already built and successful. I felt it as if it already was so in those moments.
Then, I got excited about the vision… and slightly addicted to the work. I slipped right back into old patterns of putting my needs last in the name of being “on it.”
And no sooner than I stopped doing the very thing that would fuel the flow and ease I was so in love with—that I was striving for—it all stopped.
Immediately.
And the only thing I got from that was slowed-down progress and the familiar foggy feeling of being disconnected yet again.
One Thing to Know It, Another Thing to Live It
We learn and understand stuff in layers, y’all.
It’s one thing to know in the mind that self-care is important—and that’s good—but that’s just the start. The beginning. Where it really counts is putting it into action. Consistently. And that’s the part so many of us struggle with for varying reasons.
But the main reason we all seem to have in common? We’ve subconsciously made it unimportant.
We’ve at least got it down pat deep down because we’re talking about it. But to really get it in our systems and embrace it? That’s another layer to reach.
That’s where the transformation happens.
From information to transformation.
We’ve gotta dig deeper.
Say Yes to You
So… how?
Say. Yes. To. Self.
Say yes to you.
Answer your soul’s cry—that one you can hear clearly if you listen long enough.
To put it into practical perspective, I’ll use the example I just shared.
The Morning I Finally Listened
Yesterday, I decided for sure: I’m launching this thing.
I asked myself, What do I have to do to make that happen?
And I didn’t like the answer I heard as soon as I asked that question.
I heard—from the inside—that I have to go back to taking care of myself and listening to what’s going on inside of me.
My response?
“Okay, I get that… but I gotta get this done right now. I gotta finish this first.”
Let me tell you something:
In the REAL world, life does not care as much about what you do as it does about how you are.
If you are neglectful to yourself, your Self is gonna stop showing up for you, too. It’s gonna put a pause on everything you deem important.
Especially when you’re doing work from your soul—work that’s meaningful to you—your soul will retreat and abandon you so quick, just like you’ve been doing to it.
And do you blame her?
I mean, really.
Small Self-Care, Big Impact
So I got up today with my mind set on launching this blog. Preparing to meet with a coaching client later. Ready to lead my dream life. All these goals, right?
But as tempting as it was to wake up and head straight to my computer, or scroll through my phone to start working on these projects, I knew I had to slow down and tend to me first.
After noticing the distant overwhelm I felt when I woke up, I took a moment to acknowledge I was still heavy from an emotional conversation I’d had with my dad the day prior.
It felt distant because I’d been ignoring the feelings on purpose. I didn’t want to go through this cycle again. A cycle I’ve been in since childhood.
After all, I’ve got stuff to do. I’ve got a business to launch, right?
But the foundation of my work is built on this very truth.
And as I’m understanding more and more the importance of prioritizing my wellbeing and putting me first, the more I can connect with my needs and handle my affairs with ease.
Grief Doesn’t Just Expire
See, when you start leaning into those feelings, they come with the truth—ready to deliver messages about you, to you. And that’s not always easy a process. That’s why so many of us avoid it.
Man… I was not ready to learn that I still hadn’t gotten over the way my relationship with my dad is.
I wanted to ignore this reality so bad, because none of these feelings were new, and I knew how they would feel. To me, there was no point in entertaining those emotions because in my mind, I knew there was only so much I could do.
On top of that, I’ve been trying to accept the truth that people are the way they are, regardless of how we wish they’d be. And that’s something you either suffer from… or accept.
Now, obviously, I’m in the business of restoring my health and wellbeing—and my personal preference is peace—so acceptance seems like the more attractive option.
But even if I know this in my mind, my heart still hurts. It should hurt.
It’s grief. Real grief.
It’s all this extra love that’s been lost and stored.
You Can’t Force Your Heart to Catch Up
And I’ve only been making myself sick numbing my heartache, pretending it isn’t there, trying to rush my heart to get on board with my mind and force myself into acceptance.
That’s how people die from heart disease and so many other things, y’all.
Don’t let these folks fool you into believing all you gotta do is eat right and exercise to have good health and the best of your wellbeing.
A Truly “Wellthy” Life Starts Inside
If you wanna truly live a wellthy life—one of ease, joy, harmony, and peace even in the midst of tribulation—you’re gonna have to start loving on you.
You’re gonna have to start choosing and honoring what’s really going on inside that heart of yours.
You’re gonna have to show up for her (or him) and nurture yourself in all the ways you ever hoped or waited for someone else to do for you.
Sometimes that looks like holding yourself long enough to grieve.
Feel it until you move through it.
Until you feel ready to move on.
Leftover Love
And when it’s your parents—especially—you’ve got every right to grieve that.
That’s something to grieve, baby.
Because like they say:
Grief is just the leftover love that you had to give that wasn’t received.
But the best thing you can do for your health and your healing…
The most powerful way to take back your wellness and your wholeness...
Is to pour that remaining love back into you—by holding yourself in those moments.
Because those moments?
They’re in there, too.
They’re part of you.
And if you want to be wellthy, truly?
You best learn to love every bit of it.
Keep Choosing You
If this resonated—if you felt yourself somewhere in these words—I want to invite you to keep walking with me.
I send love notes like this to my newsletter community, where we go deeper into what it means to truly live well and whole.
And if you’re ready to take this even further—into a space of support, guidance, and transformation—I’m also opening the doors for those ready to transform now at The Wellthy U.
You don’t have to keep neglecting or navigating this alone.
You’re not meant to.
Come be held, seen, and supported.
Come say yes to you.
